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A New Adventure

Karen4*Originally written for our Newsletter, The Briefing. As a military family preparing for our second “adventure” I’ve found myself looking back through photos and notes from the first one thinking “how did we do this?” “Can we do it again?”  Then I came across a couple pictures of my daughter Keira dancing and quickly remembered how blessed we are.  Our Military Kids is an organization that our family will forever hold dear.   With our first adventure, we found it difficult to find a way to tell our three young kids that their dad would be leaving for a year, especially our daughter Keira because she truly is “daddy’s little girl.”  Then, in the mail arrived a package from Our Military Kids.  Inside the package we learned that Keira was fortunate enough to be awarded a grant for her ballet lessons for the next six months!  Included was a certificate for Keira, a patch, a bracelet, and a special dog tag that said “I’m proud of my military parent.”  When I opened the package I was overcome by the generosity of others, and decided that this would be the perfect opportunity (if there is such a thing) to tell Keira. Our Military Kids gave us the opportunity to share the news in a way that allowed us to celebrate our service and to recognize the honor being a military family is.   Through one of the most difficult conversations I could imagine, we had the opportunity to tell Keira because she is so brave, a very kind person had given her a special award, and that that award would allow for her to continue with dance while Daddy was away.  Keira loves ballet, and she loves her picture taken even more.  We talked about how we would be able to take a picture every weekend at ballet and send it to Daddy so that he could see how well she was doing.  I even told her that we would video tape her recital that way Daddy could watch it too.   Deployment is hard through the eyes of anyone, especially a child.  The fear and uncertainty with which they endure is unfathomable and shows up in many different ways.  The opportunity to continue ballet gave Keira something to look forward to each week and allowed her to have something that was special for just her.  Each week she would send a picture to her dad and when it came time for her recital she proudly represented her military family pride. ​ So as we embark on our second adventure, of course we’re overwhelmed and fearful, but far more importantly we are proud and grateful.  We are eternally grateful for Our Military Kids and all of the donors that make deployment just a little easier for our nation’s warriors.  Each donation helps shape memories, resiliency and pride in their journey.  Through the support of organizations such as this, we will persevere.

  Vacations are wonderful for precious family memories, and remember memories are also made during the drive to your destination. While traveling, entertaining children can be a challenge, but plenty of activities are available to help pass the time. Instead of being asked “Are we there yet?” hundreds of times, create a visual display so your child can comprehend how much time is remaining. You could string a photo of a vehicle to the roof of your car, and with each passing hour, you move the picture along a specified amount. This will be an easy way to see how far along you are in your journey. Preschool and school aged children love engaging activities so why not go fishing in the car? Before you leave, attach small magnets to the back of paper fish, and then you need to create a fishing rod by using a paper clip, string, and small pole. The paper clip will attract the magnets, and your children will have loads of fun catching fish. Unless you wish to spread the fish out on the floor of your vehicle, you should bring along a bowl or bucket to place them in. For an educational spin, you could attach questions and answers to different sides of the fish, and in order to keep it, you must give the correct answer. If your child is an adventure seeker, attach elastic string to both an action figure and a fixture in the vehicle. Now, the toy can fly and go bungee jumping. Be sure the “fly zone” is clear of anyone else…including siblings! Children enjoy photographing scenery, objects, and of course, selfies, and if you have an old phone or camera, you could give your child photography privileges for the duration of the trip. This allows children to use their imagination, and at the end of the vacation it will be fun to see the journey through your child’s eyes. Handheld toys like racecars and puzzles can be a challenge for car rides because they are frequently dropped. Consider giving your child a cooking pan with edges or a shoebox to use while playing with these items. It is much easier to balance an item in your lap than to hold several small items at once. Scavenger hunts are always excellent entertainment options for children of all ages because you can tailor the search specifically for the child. Before you leave, create a list of objects for your children to find such as a stop sign, bridge, boat, or person wearing a hat. Feel free to be creative when you create your list, and you can format your list using Bingo style, checklist, coloring book, or any way your children will enjoy. For a handheld scavenger hunt, you can create an I-Spy game by filling a jar or bottle with rice and putting in an assortment of random objects including dice, beads, doll shoes, miniature toys, coins, etc. Look around your house to see what toys your children have forgotten about, and wrap them up for a fun surprise. Children often forget about toys, and a car ride is the perfect opportunity to reunite your children with their forgotten treasures. Unwrapping the surprise is part of the excitement even if your child has had the toy for a long period. In order to store your entertainment options, you can use objects you already have. Hanging toiletry bags work wonderfully because you can place it by your child’s window or on the seat in front. Another option for smaller objects is a muffin pan with an attachable top. Before you leave on your next vacation, take a few minutes to plan entertainment options that your child will enjoy. Spending a few minutes beforehand planning different activities will provide hours of entertainment in the car and could create for lasting memories.   Valerie handles media relations for Caliber Collision, and in her spare time, she enjoys swimming, traveling, baking, and playing with her puppy, Emma. Some of her favorites include Taylor Swift, Coke Zero, and The Good Wife, and she enjoys living life to the fullest but also making time to enjoy the small moments.

The Army likes to operate on it’s own time schedule and isn’t designed to take in to account the impact on the families at home.  The result from this can be frustration, last minute changes, etc, but it is all to ensure that the mission itself is priority.
While we were preparing for our journey to “see you soon,” the Army did what it does best and changed plans.  The date of the farewell event was changed from a day that was during our trip, to the day after our return flight home.  At first this didn’t seem like a big deal…they generally are a bunch of VIPs giving speeches, making families “feel good” about being apart and motivating the soldiers for the mission that lay ahead.  The only option our family has is to embrace each change with an open mind, recognizing the value of the moments we have together.
Our time was limited and we were committed to making the best of it.  Our first morning together as a family we quickly tried to fall back to “normal.”  However, being a part for an extended period of time can lead to any family finding a new “normal.”
The kids were super excited to be with their dad.  There were endless snuggles and lots of loving.  We quickly set off to explore the local zoo, something that we had been meaning to do the entire time we had lived in Colorado.  Each step along the path one, if not both, of the girls were holding their dad’s hand, sticking close as if they felt if they wandered too far from him he might just slip away.  It was very evident how much they had longed from the security of their father being by their side.  We explored and talked and cherished every moment of being together.
As the afternoon approached the kids started to show signs of jet lag and the late night arrival.  Deciding to head off for lunch we all climbed in to the car.  It wasn’t long in to the ride that the tears started to flow.  Our youngest sat broken in the backseat, with her brother and sister on either side, letting her heart out.  It’s easy at times to forget how delicate our kids are as we navigate life, but in that moment I was quickly reminded of just how confusing a deployment can be through the eyes of a five year old.
“Mama, I don’t want to leave Daddy again!”
 
“I want to stay here with Daddy and my Colorado friends.  I don’t want to go back!”
 
“We just got Daddy back, why does he have to leave us again?’
Each tear and each inquiry a painful stab at our hearts.  There are few things more painful then watching and hearing the anguish in your child’s eyes.  It was starkly evident that our youngest did not understand that Daddy wasn’t going to be staying in Colorado, and instead thought that we had turned our back on him and had moved across the country without him.
Driving to lunch, blinking back tears, knowing the pain she was feeling and knowing how much her words hurt my husband, all I could do was try to find a way to let her have closure.  Even if I didn’t yet know what that looked like.
All I wanted to do was to take her hurt away.
Then, just as quickly as they started, the tears stopped but it was evident that the pain was still there.  Sleepily she rested her head on her brothers shoulder, he rested his head against hers and they silently comforted each other.
As hard as this is, I will be forever grateful for these moments.  Each day I see the broken fractures that deployment has placed in our foundation begin to heal, anew, building a new foundation on which we can grow stronger.
Do I wish we never had to feel pain?  Sure, at times….but if we didn’t would we ever really understand how truly blessed we are?

Karen

By Taylor Basilio Deployment is long, frustrating, and can oftentimes make it hard to connect to your loved one who is gone or at home. That being said, this time is most important when it comes to keeping the sparks flying and the romance of your relationship alive. If you have no ideas, I’m here to help! Below are six greats ways to keep the romance alive during deployment.  1. Arrange Skype/FaceTime calls—and make an effort. When you talk to your soldier on Skype or FaceTime, be sure to really make an effort to ask about their day, talk about fun things that will brighten both of your spirits, and—even though this sounds silly—write down talking points. When my husband was deployed, he rarely wanted to talk about his day because every day was exactly the same, and he was bored of it all. Because of this, I would write down things to talk about throughout the day—fun things I read or saw, anything weird/funny/different that happened, or updates on life—and talk to him about those things in the evenings. 2. Send love letters. This is old school, but it’s stuck around because it works. And it’s romantic. Even if this is outside of your comfort zone, give it a shot. Your soldier (and your at-home significant other) want to be reminded that they are loved and missed in a variety of different ways. Write it all down and surprise them with letters throughout the deployment. Another idea? Write little notes—things you love about them or reasons you’ll miss them—and hide them throughout the house or in different things your soldier is taking with them during deployment. When they find them, they’ll smile and be reminded of you. 3. Plan for the future—date nights, vacations, and more. One of the only good parts of deployment, for me, was planning all the fun things we would do when he got home. We planned dates, weekend trips, and vacations. We picked out where we would stay, figured out movies we would see (once we knew when he was coming home), and found great local restaurants on Yelp that we wanted to check out. This is an easy way to look forward to the future together instead of feeling down about the present situation. 4. Do a Hershey’s Kiss countdown. I had a friend who kept a jar full of Hershey’s Kisses and ate one every day for deployment. If you can keep the chocolate from melting, send a jar to your soldier, too. Eat one a day—a kiss for every day they are gone until they are home and in your arms again. 5. Watch a movie together. For my husband and me, one of our favorite things to do together is go to the movies. Obviously and unfortunately, this isn’t an option during deployment, so the next best idea is to watch one together virtually! Skype or FaceTime and watch a movie of your choosing “together.” You may not be side by side, but you can still start it at the same time and discuss it and react to it just like you would at home. 6. Make playlists. Maybe this is just my husband and me who love doing this, but make playlists for each other (or even send CDs) to listen to during the deployment. We have playlists with songs we’ve loved together throughout our relationship and songs that remind us of each other. A few of our favorites are below: o “How Lucky We Are” by Meiko o “The Story” by Brandi Carlisle o “Easy Silence” by the Dixie Chicks o “Chai Tea Latte” by Angel Taylor What do you do to keep the romance alive?

As I sit here exhausted and reflect on recent events, I cannot help but to be filled with pride and gratitude for the life we live.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to be His wife, the mother of three beautiful, resilient children, and to be surrounded by a top-notch village.
The time had come for us to say “see you soon” to our hero.  Being that we had chosen to relocate back to be closer to family, this called for a cross-country trek.  When our local Moms in Motion (MIMs) team learned of the opportunity, they quickly rose to the occasion and blew us away with their support.  They coordinated our flights and hotel, allowing us to focus our energy on being together.  When I joined MIMs three years ago, I’m not sure I truly understood how much this team would change my life.  I could not be more grateful for the support and friendship of each of these women, some of which I haven’t even yet had the opportunity to meet!

In the weeks and days leading up to the start of the Adventure we focused on readjusting to our new home and being together.  We missed our Hero deeply and we’ve chosen to replace fear and anger with honor and pride.  When travel day finally arrived the kids couldn’t have been more excited to board the plane.

Karen2
The kids did remarkably well on the plane; they kept busy with books,coloring and games.  I was a bit worried about being spread across the aisle from them (the joys of traveling as a family of four – no divide and conquer!)  When we arrived in DC, we were treated with the ability to deplane right on the tarmac.  The expressions of wonder and awe as we walked down the small staircase were amazing.  The trip was truly an adventure explored through the eyes of our children.
Throughout the day we had talked about surprising Daddy.  I had told them that he knew we were coming but didn’t know when.  We arrived to our destination late in the evening.  It was a struggle waking the kids when we landed and they were zombies coming off the plane.  Up we rode the escalator, Keira clutching her camo bear, Garrett and Ella stumbling, bleary eyed.  As we stepped off, Keira started to complain that she was just too tired.  As the kids were heading straight to baggage claim, unaware, I asked her if “This guy” could make her feel better.  All three were completely shocked that their dad was there and it was in fact them that got to be surprised.
For just a split second, all was right in the world.

Week 5 – blog post (challenge 5/31 – 6/6) This week is the Final Week of Pure Barre McLean’s Weekly Mini Goals Series! Week 5: May 31st – June 6th Nutrition Goal: Snack Healthy Fitness Goal: Workout 7 days this week (even if it is just for 20 minutes!) Snack Healthy Snacking is an important part of a balanced diet and can keep you and your family going between meals. Try keeping your snack between 100-200 calories with protein as well as carbohydrate. The protein will keep you full until your next meal while the carbohydrate will give your muscles fuel, especially after a workout. Workout every day this week! Now is the perfect time of year to use the pool to your advantage! Spend time at the pool playing games, racing and keeping active with your whole family. No access to a pool? No problem! Get out in the backyard or neighborhood and do the same.