“We Signed Up Too” — A Year Later
November 14, 2024
Mental Illness and Veteran Families
Written by: Sinaiyah E. (16)
Looking back…
Almost a year ago to the day, my whole world was brutally turned upside down. In September of 2023, my father, a retired Major in the United States Air Force, who is also a combat Veteran, endured a horrible setback due to his invisible injuries, namely his PTSD and TBI. Even though my family was vocal about our struggles and asked for help from our closest communities, few seemed to step up and provide support, and the ones who didn’t, turned their backs. I began to realize that because my dad doesn’t have amputated limbs or visible battle scars, it was difficult for others to see that something was actually wrong, and that there was a dire need for help. The truth is, though you could not see it, my dad’s invisible injuries were tearing him apart, and my family was crumbling right along with him.
That was when I decided to write about my experience. I couldn’t blame the people who stepped away for being afraid about something they knew nothing about, and in my attempt to process the pain, I turned my mixed and mangled feelings and observations onto a blank page where I slowly began to see an article form. I continued to write with my family, and others who had gone through similar struggles in mind.
I wrote with all of my heart for the children, teens, and young adults who have had to witness their parents suffer the way my sister and I had to. I wrote for those children who endured as one parent battled mental health challenges, due to their injuries, while the other was forced to step up and fulfill the role of caregiving along with the demands of single parenting.
After the long, releasing process of writing, I was delighted that what I had written was not a source of shame that I had to hide away, instead I saw it as a beacon of hope; my shining, brilliant lighthouse illuminating my world in the middle of a dark, black storm. For the first time since our traumatic and terrifying experience, I had finally found my voice.
After hours of reading, editing and re-reading, I submitted my article to supportive organizations that published it immediately, including Our Military Kids, Wounded Warrior Project, and the Bethany Beach, Delaware Coastal Point local newspaper. The feedback I received was overwhelming. However, I began to realize that although I had taken the first step to push for change by writing an article, there was more that needed to be done. Nothing can truly change without real commitment. If I wanted to see change happen, it wasn’t all going to ride on one article and if I was really serious about wanting to see improvements made, I would have to go all the way.
One year after the setback, our family continues to heal. We are still dealing with the repercussions of our tragedy and steadily working on relationship restoration and individual healing. The road to recovery has not been easy but we are relentlessly pushing through, fighting for our family, fighting for one another. The reality is the troubles we faced last year are not isolated to just my family. According to Elizabeth Dole, founder of the Elizabeth Dole Foundation, “There are 2.3 million military children living in the homes of wounded warriors.” That is 2.3 million children who have had to live with the fear of triggers and setbacks, 2.3 million children who are faced daily with anxiety and the possibility of secondary PTSD. However, this does not have to be a reality anymore.
Looking ahead…
After much prayer and seeking guidance from our parents and mentors, my sister, Azara, and I have made the decision to launch a blog titled, “We Signed Up Too.” We decided on the name as a nod to the article that ignited my sister’s and my passion to bring awareness to this small, but significant population. The idea of “We Signed Up Too,” is to serve as a reminder of the child whose parent(s) signed the dotted line, while knowingly or unknowingly signing up those closest to them. The blog will provide support and a virtual community for children of injured combat Veterans with new informative articles published regularly. There will be practical information and resources for the family as a whole to take advantage of, particularly focusing on mental health and wellness. Lastly, it will contain practical tips for those not familiar with the combat Veteran community on ways to lend a helping hand. The blog will launch in April 2025 to commemorate the Month of the Military Child. The dream of “We Signed Up Too” is to provide providing kids and teens of wounded warriors with a lifeline, an interactive community that understands, provides encouragement, and spreads hope to those going through the thick of their struggles.
Azara and I have constantly grappled with questions such as, “given the uncertainty of our circumstances, are we truly capable of making this important commitment?” I have learned since the onset of this year that what truly matters is showing up. My sister, and I choose to show up. By starting this blog, we choose to show up for those who feel alone and unheard, for the families that have been torn apart because of mental illness, and we choose to show up for the children who have yet to find their voice.
One year later, my family is still carrying the emotional scars of our experience, but we are also carrying something even stronger, hope. Our fight is not over, but small steps are being taken with the greater goal in mind which is to bring awareness and support to the children of combat Veterans.
Why should so much effort be put into this population? Because these children and youth need us to back them up, they deserve to be heard, because after all, they signed up too.
